Real Talk | Scroll, Panic Attack, Repeat

Just a quick look at the news, and it's obvious there's a ton going wrong in the world. It's no wonder it can feel totally overwhelming.

You know that thing where you grab your phone to check one tiny notification, and suddenly it’s three hours later, you’ve read approximately 57 news articles, and now you’re convinced the world is ending? Yeah, me too. If doomscrolling were an Olympic sport, I’d have a trophy shelf that rivals Michael Phelps’.

I swear I just want to stay informed. Like a responsible adult, you know? But instead, I end up deep in the trenches of global catastrophes, political chaos, and that one raccoon that somehow got loose in a Canadian coffee shop (honestly, a welcome break). The news is like that messy ex who texts you at 2 a.m.—you know it’s bad for you, but you open it anyway.

There’s a particular kind of anxiety that comes from watching the news these days. It’s like riding a rollercoaster, except the rollercoaster is on fire, and so is everything else. I’m starting to think news headlines ought to come with a trigger warning or at least a complimentary stress ball.

I’ve tried to balance it out by following those “Good News Only” accounts on social media, but the algorithm sees right through me. It’s like, “Oh, you want to see a cat rescued from a tree? Cute. Here’s a 12-part series on Trump and his lap dog Elon.”

On one hand, I want to stay informed—knowledge is power, right? On the other hand, my anxiety would really appreciate it if I stuck to watching videos of people power-washing dirty driveways and area rugs. Every time I tell myself I’m going on a “news detox,” I last about as long as a half-charged phone.

Of course, my brain has decided that the best time to unpack all of this is at 3 a.m., when I’m lying in bed, trying to figure out if that weird pain in my neck is stress-related or if WebMD was right all along. Spoiler: it’s probably stress.

And can we talk about how, no matter what time of day it is or which app I open, there’s a 95% chance I’ll be bombarded with news about Donald Trump doing… well, anything? Seriously, I could open a weather app just to see if I need a sweater, and somehow there he is, the mug, ruining my day with headlines that range from chaotic to ‘are you kidding me right now?’

So, here’s the plan: I’m setting some boundaries with my news intake—like limiting myself to 20 minutes a day or until I audibly groan, whichever comes first. Also, I’m practicing the ancient art of “closing the app before I ruin my day,” which, honestly, deserves its own TED Talk.

In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be watching raccoon videos and pretending I live in a world where the worst headline is about a squirrel causing a power outage. Stay strong out there, fellow doomscrollers—may your Wi-Fi be weak and your resolve strong.

~smy