Friendship, Feels, and the Chaos of Us

Some relationships are easy to define. Some are neat, tidy, and fit into neat little boxes with labels like “dating,” “partners,” or “serious.”

Ours? Not so much. Perry and I are like a friendship—but with feelings, with sparks, with late-night thoughts that make me grin like a fool. And somehow, that blurry line between friends and more makes everything more exciting.

We’re two adults navigating a long-distance relationship, which means a lot of patience, a lot of planning, and a lot of me staring at my phone, waiting. Waiting doesn’t bother me because of jealousy. No. I get frustrated when I don’t hear from him because I care, because I want to share my life with him in real time, because I’m emotional, dramatic, and… well, let’s be honest—I like him. A lot.

Perry, in his rugged, grounded way, somehow balances my whirlwind. He doesn’t try to fix me. He doesn’t chase my chaos; he just lets me spin while holding steady. And in return, I feel free to be exactly who I am—emotional, impatient, loud, stubborn, and loving all at once.

Long distance isn’t easy. It tests you. It pokes at insecurities and impatience. It makes you wonder if the sparks are real or just convenient. But with Perry, it’s real. The friendship is there—the laughter, the comfort, the “I’ve got you” moments—but beneath it, the feelings are loud and clear.

Here’s the truth: navigating this mess of distance, emotion, and adulting is worth it. Because at the end of the day, he’s not just someone I like. He’s the one I want. The one I choose. The one I’d run through chaos and distance for, every single time.

~smy