Back to the Rez
- smyatsallie
- Apr 1, 2023
- 7 min read
Updated: May 30, 2024
During the pandemic, a lot of my friends, including myself felt the pull home or to be closer to family, wherever that was. Having our lives interrupted, businesses across the country shuttered, careers derailed, and an uncertain future stood before some of us, sending a lot of us into an existential crisis of sorts. This included me. So, I quit my job, packed up my bags and headed home to the rez.
"Coming home always magnifies, for me, how much I've changed because at home everything stays the same."
During the peak of the pandemic, my Instagram feed turned into a wild reality show of isolation diaries, pandemic nuptials, relocation revelations, and career twists, but the real showstopper was the "just-moved-back-home or closer-to-family" saga. I mean, seriously, those posts hit me right in the feels. Honestly, deep down, I was torn about heading back to Meander. Like, for real, what's the deal there? How will my little one vibe with the local crew (let me tell you, rez kids have their own secret society - I speak from experience)?
So, picture this: I'm doing the city escape like all my buddies, right? I'm stuffing my stuff into boxes in Edmonton, Alberta, and hauling it all the way up to my folks' place in Meander River. It's this tiny Dene village 9 hours north of Edmonton, in Treaty 8 Territory. And get this, I once tried to describe where I live to a former colleague. I said, 'It's 4 hours north of Peace River,' and she goes, 'North of Peace River? Ha! There's just nothing up there!' Oh, the joys of rural living!
Also picture this: I'm casually strolling down aisle 7, minding my own indian affairs, when suddenly I hear my name being screeched out in a tone that could shatter glass. Lo and behold, it's my old high school buddy, acting like they just discovered a unicorn in the supermarket. And in that moment, I can't help but mutter under my breath, “Yep, this is exactly what I signed up for.”
Coming home...
My heart is like a boomerang, it never really left my community! We were like those relatives who always show up uninvited - every holiday, without fail! And you know what? My son, bless his heart, he's a grandma and grandpa's boy through and through. Summer break? More like summer vacation at the grandparents' resort!
Imagine it, I'm here, casually typing away at my masterpiece on my parents' kitchen table, with our furry detective Duke eyeing me suspiciously through the window. The air is a delightful mix of freshly washed laundry and the cozy scent of woodstove smoke drifting around. Meanwhile, across the street, my late Grandma's old house is puffing out smoke signals from its itty bitty chimney, a place that's seen more family handovers than a hot potato. And that, my friends, is the current definition of home sweet home for me. Back in the day, though, I used to view this place as a sad, dusty "rezzed-out patch of dirt", my personal prison until I could finally spread my wings and fly.
Back in high school, I was itching to escape like a cat with its tail on fire; looking back now, I can't help but chuckle at my dramatic antics. I was convinced that my real life would kick in the moment I set foot anywhere that wasn't here. I was yearning for a life that I was convinced could only be discovered beyond the boundaries of the rez.
So, after what feels like a gazillion years of adulting, I decided to grace my humble abode with my presence once again (because let's face it, having the luxury to do so is like winning the lottery). And you know what? I dodged all those pesky moving-back-home inquiries by focusing on the little things that matter, like relishing in the joy of having breakfast with the parental units, and watching my mini-me conquer the great outdoors like a true country bumpkin.
Finding my bearings...
At first, I was like, "Where do I even fit in anymore?" I mean, seriously, it was like I was living in two parallel universes at the same time: Shauna, the hotshot Architectural Technologist strutting her stuff in a fancy city architecture firm, and then there's Shauna, the single mom chilling on the rez without a job in sight.
So, picture this: I'm out there, exploring the world, living my best life, and bam! It hits me like a ton of bricks. My eyes are like, whoa, and my brain is all, "I'm getting an upgrade!" My crazy non-stop schedule basically turned me into a shape-shifting superhero, boosting my skills in all sorts of cool ways. And then, out of the blue, I realize I'm not tied down to just one spot. Cue the light bulb moment! Time to roll up my sleeves and make some epic plans, baby!
Neap tide...
So, turns out reverse culture shock is a real deal! I mean, I had to hold my own hand and my son's as we tried to make sense of it all. Don't just waltz back into your old gang and expect to be the life of the party. I had to tiptoe my way back into the rhythm of rez life - it's like trying to catch a snail in a race. Everything just moves at a snail's pace!
So, get this: the closest grocery store might as well be on Mars, it's a whopping 71km away! Forget about those quick Safeway runs - in and out in 10 minutes, grabbing a Starbucks as you stroll through the veggies. No more lazy skipthedishes and pizza nights (maybe that's a good thing, who knew?). Nope, not happening.
Goodbye, adrenaline! Farewell to the 6am and 5pm traffic madness! I almost shed a tear for those chaotic times. Now, the most thrilling thing on the rez is the sudden rush of last-minute shoppers flooding the parking lot at 9:55pm of the gas station that's about to close at 10pm. It's a wild ride, I tell you!
Once upon a time in the bustling city, things were moving at a pace faster than a caffeine-fueled cheetah! The stress was real, and relaxation and self-care were as rare as a unicorn sighting. And oh, the pollution - the air was thicker than grandma's gravy, and the noise louder than a toddler's tantrum! But then, in the midst of chaos, I decided to hit the brakes and shift into a slower gear. And guess what? I suddenly became more self-aware than a chameleon at a rainbow convention! It was like a reverse culture shock mixed with a sprinkle of enlightenment. Who knew slowing down could actually speed up my self-discovery journey? What a delightful surprise!
Reconnecting...
So, here's the scoop: my Dene heritage is like a hidden gem, waiting to be discovered. It's not that I'm keeping it a secret, but hey, if no one's asking, why spill the beans, right? It's like having a superpower that no one knows about - not that anyone's missing out on the awesomeness! 😄
So, listen up! Dene Tha actually translates to "Cool Kids of the Land" or "Funky Folks of the Territory". We're like the Avengers of Treaty 8 Territory, with our squad spread across three rad communities (Meander River, Bushe River, Chateh). And just so you know, my hood is the one up North, the crown jewel of the bunch - obviously the most fabulous of them all! 😉
When I boomeranged back, I got this rad present - a reunion with my roots! Heading home was like swiping right on my culture all over again; chowing down on wild meat, sipping muskeg water, savoring wild mint tea, inhaling that smoky moosehide scent, and grooving to the beat of tea dance drumming and singing.
So, get this - I had to basically go back to language school! Can you believe it? I was like, "Oh no, I forgot how to speak my own language!" Talk about a facepalm moment. My Dene speaking skills were so rusty, I didn't even want to chat with my mom properly. But guess what? One day, out of the blue, I caught myself replying to her in our language like it was no big deal. It's like my culture was saying, "Hey, remember me?" and I was like, "Oh, hey there, long time no speak!" Slowly but surely, I'm reclaiming that part of me, and man, does it feel good!
My heart nearly burst with pure joy when my little munchkin started babbling in our native tongue! I was so proud I could've floated away on a cloud of happiness. Seeing him dive headfirst into our quirky traditions like epic family gatherings, nail-biting handgames, and our oh-so-fabulous Dene language has been an absolute riot for me!
Final thoughts...
Returning home is like stepping into a time machine that shows me how I've evolved, while the place itself is stuck in a hilarious time loop!
So, listen up folks! Let me tell you, after venturing out into the wild world, I've come back a whole new and improved version of myself. I mean, come on, have you seen the crazy stuff I've been through? It's like a rollercoaster ride, I tell ya! Going back to the old stomping grounds after all these years was like sipping on a cocktail of emotions with a side of sweet nostalgia. Cheers to that!
Returning to the place where it all began was like hitting the reset button on my life. It was like looking in the mirror after a decade and realizing I now have a beard where there was once just peach fuzz (if I were a dude). Going back home made me realize that I've upgraded from a flip phone to a smartphone in terms of life experiences. It was a journey of rediscovery that made me feel like a character in a sitcom looking back at old episodes and thinking, "Wow, I've really evolved... and so has my taste in music!"
Home is a Feeling. Not A Place.
~mahsi!
Loooooved this post!!!! I can really relate to this one. Please add more posts relating to this…?